The Ballad of the Black Beret

News/Current Events Opinion (Published)
Source: Email
Published: Recently Author: By Little Ricky and His Really Keane Band
Posted on 10/19/2000 13:36:01 PDT by SLB

(With profound apologies to all of those who have earned and worn with pride the Green, Black, or Maroon Berets)

Fighting Finance at their desk
They'll pay some...and screw the rest
For the grunts there'll be no pay
"Cause now THEY wear a black beret

Shield of shame upon their collar
The AG Corps will whoop and holler
Because they join the elite today
As they don their black beret

Up their a** with bugs and gas
Chemical Corps is lightning fast
They'll poison troops in great new ways
'Cause now they have their black berets

Medical Corps...reduced to tears
No more hair below their ears
Haircuts they must get today
So they can wear a black beret

Transportation--truck and troops
In motor pools, in little groups
No cargo moves at all today
'Cause they can't drive with that black beret

Spooks and Redlegs...they're a gas
Shooting targets really fast
Their aim's improved a bunch today
'Cause now they've got their black berets

Tanks and Bradleys in a row
Roaring Treadheads, set to go
Republican Guard a match--no way
'Cause now they wear the black beret

Air defenders shoot 'em down
Patriots fly...wreckage on the ground
They're first to fire, 'specially today
'Cause now they, too, have a black beret

The QM Corps supplies us all
Our stuff's delayed...but they have a ball
With crates of new hats on the way
Now they're the elite with black berets

MacArthur, Brad, and Shy Meyer, too
Readiness problems, they're nothing new
To raise morale, THEY found a way
Didn't involve NO black beret

Back at Benning, a young wife waits
Her Ordinance Trooper has met his fate
Black Beret he's wearing ...NOT
Met some Rangers in a Parking Lot.

Campbell, Bragg, and Lewis too
Soldiers are PI** know it's true
After a five miles run in PT today
They'll probably burn THEIR damn berets.